Scary Spinning Man - Part II (just for Ali)

So I did it. I went back to the scary spinning man's Wed night class. If you aren't familiar with him -- here's the original encounter.

But yes... I went again last night. He pranced (yes... pranced) in 5 minutes late. Class was supposed to start at 6:30 and he got there at 6:35. Comes in all breathy and say 'Man, I must have hit every red light on the way here!' Then doens't miss a beat (and while he's taking off his khaki shorts and showing his all too tight spandex... ew gross. And also he's wearing a tight jersey that's yellow and has BRAZIL written across it in neon green. This would be fine... except the jersey is ALSO about 2 sizes too small... but I digress) and says, 'I just heard a great song on the radio -- and I'm going to play it now!' He whips out his iPod and starts looking for the song. Mumbling 'B... it starts with a B...' He instructs us to set our resistance at easy-moderate pace and then the song starts... Born to be Alive.

As the song starts he says 'Welcome to spinning with Bill. It's Wednesday, August 11th and we're rockin at the Livingston NYSC. Now... let's get started and MOVE TO THE GROVE OF 1979!' (I know you must think I'm adlibbing some of this dialogue... but I swear that's exactly what he said. I made sure to take note because I thought there might be a post about it). Now I'm sure you'd know the song if you heard it. But here are some lyrics if you can't place it on title alone.

We were born to be alive
We were born to be alive
Born, born to be alive
(Won't you be alive)
You see you were born
Born, born
(Born to be alive)
People ask me whyI never find a place to stop
And settle down, down, down
But I never wanted all those things
People need to justify
Their lives, lives, lives
You see you were
Born, born, born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
You see you were
Born, born, born
(Born to be alive)
It's good to be alive
To be alive
To be alive
It's good to be alive
To be alive
To be alive
It's good to be alive
Time was on my side
When I was running down the streetIt was so fine, fine, fine
A suitcase and an old guitar
And something new to occupy
My mind, mind, mind

So yes... he refers to this as a great song. But ok, whatever. So we did move to the grove of 1979... and then he moved into the 80s. We had Sinead O'Conner for our big climb. I tell you, you haven't lived until you've heard Bill (the scary spinning man) sing "Nothing Compares to you" all out of breath and off key into a microphone. He's generally a word or two ahead of the singer -- and doesn't so much sing the songs as he just talks them. In his deep, creepy man voice. He also played a medly of 80s dance songs. But they weren't 80s like my generation... more like 1980-1882. So I wasn't even walking when these songs were 'hits'. One of them was called "Menergy" and he did get VERY into that one. I learned that "Menergy" debuted in a club in 1981 and became an instant hit. How about that? Crazy I tell you.

Those are really the highlights of last nights class. But I won't lie. I have encountered ANOTHER scary spinning man. He isn't the instructer however. It was Monday night's class. The man in the bike next to me was older. Probably in his mid to late 50s or so. He had regular old khaki shorts on and a COLARED shirt. Like a polo. He looked like he came right from the office or something... not really in 'work out' clothes. But whatever. He had these dorky wirey glasses on and a full white mustache/beard. And white hair. And he had white rebock sneakers on. And they were glowingly white. Like I'm sure he wears them to spin and that's it, because I don't think they had ever really seen the outside world.

Now nothing about this is wierd. I certainly wouldn't spin in khakis and a polo -- but if he wants to it's fine by me.

The strange part comes when a techno version of Britney's (yes spears) "Outrageous" comes on. Now for background -- I'll provide the lyrics for this hit as well (though I'm sorry to say the instructer didn't give the release date).

Outrageous (when I move my body)
Outrageous (when I'm at a party)
Outrageous (in my sexy jeans)
Outrageous (when I'm on the scene)
Outrageous (my sex drive)
Outrageous (my shopping spree)
Outrageous (we're on a world tour)
Outrageous (that's B-girl)
Outrageous
Sexy as I wanna be
Got these fellas chasin me
It's about time I hit the street
All my girls still feeling me
And B girl ain't lost the beat
Jumped over drama and
I landed on my feet
Gotta keep going, no stopping me
And if you don't like it then
La la la la la la la
Media over here
Coming through like a world premiere
Trenchcoat and my underwear
Let's go with this freak show
-Chorus-
I'm about to bring the heat
Locking down the industry
Aren't I super glamorous
Red carpets and cameras
Take trips around the globe
Tint's on my Jeeps so nobody knows
So hot that you're coming out your clothes
Now I'm about to give you
La la la la la la la
Media over here
Coming through like a world premiere
Trenchcoat and my underwear
Let's go with this freak show
- Chorus-
I just wanna be happy
In a place where love is free
Can you take me there?
Somebody, ooh
And when you mention my name
Make sure you know the truth, yeah
Until I vow to keep it forever

Ok... so the song and the lyrics are a bit provacative? I don't know if thats the word I'm really looking for... but hopefully you know the song so you know what I'm talking about. Brit singing the song is hott. I'll totally admit that. hahaha. Im not ashamed. But... the 50ish something man next to me started singing along. But like moaning the words really low and under his breath. Especially the "Outrageous... (when I move mah body)..." parts. It was just disturbing. I kept looking around thinking clearly it MUST be someone else. But no. It was him. Mr. Khaki and Polo shirt... gettin all nastified to Brit. I didn't appreciate it. And I'm not even going to think about why he even knows the lyrics to begin with. I mean sure he could have just picked them up from previous classes, or maybe he has a daughter... but he knew a few too many words for him to just know it from causal hearings.

I didn't like it. And I don't plan on hoppin on the bike next to him again. Because.. just... ew!

So thats the spinning update for today! Hope you enjoyed it (if you made it this far!!)