Food Flare-Up

So I went out last night for D's birthday. It was all the girls. I had 0 intentions of getting drunk... but I should know by now, those are the times I get the most drunk. I only had like 5 drinks the whole night.... but apparently that's all I needed. I can't remember the last time I was that drunk. Maybe it was Christmas with the girls in Hoboken last year... but I don't even think then I was that drunk.

So anyway... I puked all morning. Cause I'm a champ like that. And then tried to make breakfast (at noon). So I was making scrapple and scrambled eggs. If you don't know what scrapple is -- its a Philly thing. It's the best breakfast meat ever. Just don't read the ingrediants before you eat it. So anyway -- this breakfast is fondly called 'scrapies and scrambies' in my house. So... thats what I was making to cure my hangover.

There is a cardinal rule to cooking scrapple -- you only flip it ONCE. So you need to let it cook for 10-15 minutes and then flip... because thats how my mom and aunts taught me to make it. So I put the scrapple on and emailed my cousin in Iraq while it was cooking -- before the eggs and toast were even a thought. I finished the email, checked on the scrapies, flipped (side one was cooked to perfection if I do say so myself), started whipping up the scrambies, got them going, then got the bread in my parents nice new toaster oven and was working on pouring a hydrating beverage.

I was actually thinking how proud I was of myself for timing everything so perfectly. The entire meal was going to be done at the same time, which is not my strong suit in cooking a meal. So this was exciting! No sooner had I thought that did the smell of smoke filled my nose. I bolted to the brand new toaster oven... AND SAW THE FLARE UP! Smoke was billowing out of the toaster oven. Our smoke detectors here in Havertown are quite sensitive (safety first of course) so I speedily opened the back door AND the skylight (smoke rises after all...) but the fire was still going strong. I didn't want the rest of breakfast to suffer so all scrapie/scrambie burners got turned off immediately. And then it was just time to wait it out. Because I'm sure you're all familiar with the "In the event of food flare-up keep door closed and unplug the power cord" warning on any Black and Decker toaster oven." I had unplugged the cord and was just waiting, watching my toast slowly burn away.

The flare-up however was just getting worse! I'm not ashamed to admit it. I panicked. I rapidly dialed the number to Suburban Hardware (my dads hardware store). Someone answered the phone and it seemed like hours before my dad got on the phone. I hastily asked if he was busy... he said a little, but could clearly tell there was a panic in my voice and asked what was up. I informed him of the flare up and asked for his best advice. Once confirmed that the toaster oven was in fact unplugged his only other suggestion was to take it outside. However, carrying the fire made me nervous I asked what if I just grabbed the burning toast and threw it in the sink and douced it with water? Mr. Hardware said this could be an option, however he was relatively certain the smoke detectors would be all over that one. It looked as if the flame was dying to I let him get back to his work... and continued waiting.

Of course as soon as I hung up the phone the flare up came BACK... and stronger than ever. But I figured it's like a watched pot... and perhaps the best thing would be to focus my energies elsewhere... but still keeping an eye on the flame. So I got my plate together. Luckily the heart of the meal hadn't been compromised by this "food flare-up" and the scrapies and scrambies got away unscathed. I got my drink and began eating at the counter with one eye on the toaster oven. Eventually.... the flame died. That piece of toast sure did suffer. No need to worry everyone -- the house is still in one piece.

And that... has been my eventful morning so far.